Flexible Shifts!
Great Pay!
Terrific Opportunity for a professional individual ready to move ahead in a great career.
As an Admin Assiatnt for our well-known, stable insurance Company.
Our historically steady growth is expected to continue space in and beyond 2011.
You will be responsible for data entry alphanumeric, 10 key and typing.
Strong computer skills, attention to detail and MS knowledge required.
Top compensation (we are paying 15.00-20.00 GBP/hour), immediate start, paid training,
and a rewarding work environment are just a few of the benefits of this position.
Attendance and punctuality must be outstanding!
If you feel that you are a fit for this position, please submit your resume today to
Hector@uknewcareer.com
MY REPLY
Hello Hector,
Thanks for getting in touch with me!
How fortunate that you should contact me at this time offering work – I have just recently been made redundant!
I would love to consider a data entry position - £20 an hour!! Wow, that’s a great salary for data entry. You must run a very successful company! I’d love to be a part of it.
I have to say, it’s a little out of my normal line of work … my previous employment lies more within the ‘adult entertainment’ industry. I built up quite a reputation for myself under the name of ‘The Banana Man’ – you may have heard of me? I star in such videos as:
Monkey Fuckfest 4: Gape those Apes
Chitty Chimpy Gang Bang: Confessions of the Chimp-Catcher
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory: Monkey Sex Edition
Simian Senoritas: 2 chimps, 1 cup, 4 bananas and Neil Morrisey
Anal Ape Odyssey: Pummel that Primate
Submissive Simians: Choke on my Banana
Monkey Gang Bang 4: More monkeys than you can shake a dick at
and of course, the seminal classic:
Anal Ape Affair: Ten dicks, One Monkey.
Oh it’s a niche industry I admit, which is one of the reasons I grew to be such a big star I suppose. That and the fact that I will literally fuck anything with a tail and fur.
Unfortunately I got driven out of the business by that bastard Neil Morrisey. I've been bumming primates since he was knee high but he comes swanning in, Jonny-come-lately, stealing all my roles. Just because he's prepared to take as well as give - that's one thing I refuse to do. I have my morals. No monkey's putting his cock up MY arse, no sir. Morrisey on the other hand... he's had more monkeys in him than London Zoo.
Sorry, I digress – I imagine data entry will require many of the same skills as monkey fucking won’t it? Stamina, concentration, a thick skin, the ability to ignore the fact that you’re slowly but surely eroding your soul and making yourself less human, etc etc.
I am very keen to get started – no doubt you’ll need my bank account details to pay my wages in?
Please get in touch and let me know where we take it from here,
Yours,
R
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