Me and Annie kissing in a tree... oh what's that Annie...? you want my bank details?......... Here's what happened when a fat Polish man pretended to be a woman named Annie, in a thinly veiled effort to de-fraud me.
So recently some fuckwit tried to 'scam' me. Here's what happened....
... I'm hoping they'll stay in touch, and I can give regular updates on this.
From: littleangelaw@cityconsmstone.com
Hello!
I saw your profile at friendfinder, you're a very attractive man. I
know that usually the first step to introducing a man does, but I
decided that we should get to know and so I write to you herself. I am
a long time could not bring myself to write you, but I wrote and I
hope you are not disturbed. i'm Annie and I live in the UK, in a small
town Maidstone, near London, I'm 31 yars old. I'm looking for friend
for good communication, but I'll be happy if it would help me to find
a true love, because now I am alone. I work a lot and it's hard to
find friends in real life. But i'm very much would like to find a
friend with whom I communicate, talk on the phone and meet for cup of
cofee. I am interested only in dating in UK. I was warned that online
dating is a lot of fake profiles, so I hope that you are not fake and
resident of my country, if not, then please delete my post and not
respond. It was a very pity if you do not live in the UK, because I
really like you. I'll wait for your response and hope that it will be
a pleasant acquaintance and we will spend fun time together in future.
Annie.
UK, Maidstone.
MY REPLY......
Wow,
Hi Annie,
What a coincidence - I live near Maidstone as well!
I'm pleased that you think I'm a 'very attractive man' - I did not realise I had a picture up on 'friendfinder'.
To think, that of all the people you could have e-mailed, you choose me! I feel a very special man indeed. It's so hard to find true love nowadays isn't it, with all those dodgy scams they have on the internet? I can see that you're genuine though Annie - that much is clear from your sincere, heartfelt message.
I am pleased, as you keep reiterating, that you are 'from the UK' - I suppose it would be hard for us to meet up otherwise wouldn't it? I expect some sort of travel cost would be incurred - luckily as I am a multi-millionaire, I could help you out with that, but as you're UK-based, there'll be no need.
Perhaps we could meet up to 'get to know each other'?
I have to warn you though that I am into some very kinky practices involving all sorts of deviant stuff - whips, chains, rubber, farmyard animals - you name it, I'm into it.
I also have some strange fantasies and routines that I have without which I can't get off. Here's a list of things that have to happen:
1) You have to dress up as 80's magician, Paul Daniels, and I dress up as his beautiful assistant, Debbie Magee. I then sodomise you while you say 'that's a lovely crumpet', over and over again.
2) Before and after sex, you have to rub yourself all over your body with a Sainsbury's-own chicken - make sure you rub yourself good and proper, I love to smell that raw chickeny smell when I'm being fellated
3) During the act of intercourse, Michael Jackson's 'Earthsong' must be played at full volume on repeat
4) After sex, I generally like to empty my bowels. I will deposit a small poo in a child's Buzz Lightyear lunchbox, which you will then take with you when you leave. What you do with the box once you're out of my range of vision is entirely up to you.
If you think you can manage to comply with all the above requests, I'll be happy to meet you,
thanks,
R
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